I find myself talking about this ALL. THE. TIME.
Self-Connection is the absolute bottom line of taking care of yourself and feeling emotionally well. I don’t believe you can feel well, fulfilled, and happy and not have a good relationship with your Self. We have to be able to go inward and assess our needs, emotions, and values if we ever hope to meet those needs. More significant blockers to this connection, like trauma, will require more work to heal; that first step, though is still finding a point of connection to Self.
Unfortunately, our current culture does not support this. We are more disconnected from ourselves than ever: we keep ridiculously full schedules, search for solutions for everything outside of ourselves (a new diet, wellness trend, guru, self help book, etc), use technology to avoid all discomfort, etc.
Think this doesn’t apply to you? The worst culprits of this, I’ve found, are healers, Moms, and teachers; those groups of folks seem to be able to go all day long ignoring every need or urge they have in order to take care of others. Over and over I’ve worked with people who fall into these groups and have spent years caring for everyone else so completely that they don’t even know where to start in caring for themselves.
This disconnection eventually shows up as high levels of stress, anxiety, depressive symptoms and general dissatisfaction with life…along with having an incredibly difficult time figuring out how to feel better. Often, when folks come in for therapy, we find that they have completely lost track of what feels good to them, what relaxes them, and what they really want life to look like. After being on autopilot for so long, the thought of assessing their own needs feels completely foreign and uncomfortable. That, though, is exactly what they need.
Starting to sound familiar? If you are resonating with this, I encourage you to start small and build daily sustainable practices for connecting into your Self. It might be tempting to dive into a meditation retreat or commit to rigorous daily rituals, but I have found over and over again that these steps do not always (or often) create a sustainable and authentic practice. Think smaller: put a reminder into your phone to ask yourself how you’re doing once a day. Take one deep breath and set an intention for the day before your first sip of morning coffee. The absolute best way to get started, though, is to sign up for my 30 Days of Self-Connection Challenge. You’ll get an email daily for 30 days with one small step to follow toward connection. And, it’s FREE.
Self-connection is something that continues to grow and deepen as we practice it, not something that you suddenly arrive at. So, if you already check in with yourself, know what you like and don’t like, and are living aligned with your goals/values…maybe it’s time to go deeper. Dive in to some personality assessments, deeper journaling practices or meditation…really explore! I promise you still have more to discover.
Ready to connect? You can sign up for the email challenge here.
Want to really dive in? Stayed tuned for more information on upcoming courses on Self-Connection.