Throughout my career I’ve had several stints of burnout – times when I really felt restless, like I was not being effective, my current job didn’t fit, and something was just, well…off. Each time I took a little different action – sometimes therapy, sometimes a job change or a change in responsibilities, and I got some relief, new energy, and kept on trucking for a few more years.
Fast forward to running my own small business in solo practice. Now I get to choose exactly what I want to do for work, how much and when I work, everything. Yet still, after the newness of it all wore off, I felt some of that restlessness again. After digging in and exploring a bit, I realized that it was some ways that practicing therapy felt limited. I had plenty of folks coming in for therapy who didn’t actually meet criteria for mental health diagnoses, yet were not happy or fulfilled in their lives. My clients were highly stressed, overwhelmed, and disconnected from what would really make them happy.
I could see these themes of disconnection, of poor boundaries, and a lack of self-compassion across the board in clients. I could also see these themes woven throughout my experiences with burnout, and the social work field – along with other helping professions - as a whole.
I knew at that point I needed to take these observations beyond the 1:1 therapy services I was providing, and Creating Wellness was born! There have been several iterations of what this has looked like as I have navigated the COVID-19 pandemic, work from home, and adjusting to my growing family life.
My overall purpose here is to spread the message is that we are throwing the term “self-care” around in a way that creates shame instead of wellness, and this is contributing to the high levels of stress and anxiety so prominent in our culture. The solution? To shift from “self-caring” ourselves into a shame spiral to working to actually create emotional wellness.
I’ve found there are three key components of Creating Wellness this way: Self-connection, Boundaries, and Self-talk. Working to learn to assess our own needs, prioritize those, and be just a little (or a lot…) kinder to ourselves is a simple-but-so-difficult process that I’ve moved through, walked many clients through, and now teach in a number of formats. I have had the privilege of watching these skills make wellness come alive for so many people who thought that they had tried everything.
Developing this aspect of my business is a direct result of my own Self-Connection; I did a lot of exploring into what kind of work lights me up, makes me feel the most fulfilled, and creates energy for me. I also identified which aspects I wanted to let go of, and I am continuing to align more and more with my ideal work. This also took setting some clear boundaries; I’ve had to prioritize this work and say no to other opportunities in order to make it work. And throughout it all, it has taken a great deal of intentional self-talk; it’s so easy to spiral into self-doubt when trying something new, critiquing every mistake or failure and listening to the voice of fear. Choosing instead to listen to a compassionate, growth-focused voice instead has been essential.
I want this for you, too. I believe wholeheartedly that you deserve it, and I’m here to help you get it. Maybe that means therapy, or coaching groups, maybe you get what you need from this blog and my newsletter. Maybe, there’s something else you need some support on or another format that would work better for you – reach out and let me know. Let’s get to creating some real wellness together!
If you are resonating with this Creating Wellness concept, you’re in luck: stay tuned for more information on in-person and digital courses coming soon!